


Never Forget the Frost Will Melt

by definitelynotaweeb



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, Death, Drowning, Horror, Insanity, M/M, Snow, Tragedy, Winter, ereri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-07
Updated: 2014-12-03
Packaged: 2018-02-24 10:21:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2578043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/definitelynotaweeb/pseuds/definitelynotaweeb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A dark story where Levi and Eren live in a small community up north. A late winter snow storm brings them to the edge of the frozen lake behind Levi's house. Eren falls in. Levi wishes there was a way to bring him back. Unable to burry Eren's body, Levi may be losing his mind. But to him, things have never been so clear. It gets weird pretty fast, kind of psychological horror.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

MONDAY

It was snowing outside the window, Levi noticed as he sipped his coffee that morning, snowing hard. Up where he lives, the seasons are mostly frozen over and the summers are short, so the snow wasn’t all that surprising. He mumbled to himself about having to shovel the driveway, again, but putting his cup down he knew he should be grateful for the few inches because the storm could be worse.

            He tried to keep himself busy until the snow lets up. Sitting at the kitchen table he played his favorite game, solitaire. He tried playing it with Eren once, but he seemed bored and uninterested by it. Levi likes the silence of the game. He can hear the ticking of the clock clearly from the table. Looking up, he noticed that the snow hadn’t let up yet, so he continued his game.

            He met Eren at work, actually. Levi is a taxidermist. He gets good business, a lot of people hunt in the area, and since it’s so secluded, he doesn’t have much competition. Since he met Eren, Levi is never bored. Eren always just shows up unexpectedly to talk in the shop or commission something. Surprisingly, Eren enjoys hunting. He can never hit big game, though and Levi gets stuck working with every variety of forest vermin he shoots. But work is work.

            Eren and Levi’s relationship has slowly gotten closer.  Sometimes he’ll meet Eren after work to get something to eat and recently the talks have moved upstairs to his house above the shop. Eren always brightens his day. Sometimes Eren will be talking about something during one of his above shop visits and Levi will just watch him – the way he holds his coffee mug, the way his white sweater slides past his wrists, the way his eyes slightly change color in the dim lighting – and everything Eren is saying is completely missed. These thoughts or observations slightly disturbed Levi. He got the same feeling as he did when he first saw an animal ready to undergo its transformation; the feeling of intrigue and awe at its beauty.

            He has dreams about Eren. Last night was one of them. Tediously waiting for the snow to settle, he thought about the dream. _Eren is just too beautiful_ , he thought _, anyone would have that kind of dream if they hung around him enough. I’m sure his friends do. Right?_ But contrary to his train of thought, Levi couldn’t get the feelings of attraction out of his mind that morning.

            Bang! Levi thrust forward at the sound of the mug he was drinking crash to the floor. _Shit_. It was one of his favorite mugs. As his mind started to clear again and he was picking up the pieces of broken pottery, he heard a banging on the door. He sighed deeply at the thought of having to cater to and warm up an early morning visitor, but he stumbled to the door anyway.

“Ahhhh! It’s so cold out today!” Eren said. Levi wanted to close the door on him and finish his game of solitaire. But he didn’t. Gesturing for him to come in, Levi walked back to the kitchen table.

“Why are you here so early?”

“I wanted to see you before the storm blocked up the roads.”  
“That’s stupid. Now you’ll have to wait for the plows to come way out here before you can get home.”  
“It’s not my fault you live ridiculously far out in the mountains!” Eren said with a laugh.

“Yeah but no one made you drive your shitty car all the way out here. Oh, do you want sugar?”

“Yeah, thanks! The storm is really getting bad, huh?”

Levi glanced out the window.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Can I stay here until the storm lets up?”

“Sure, if you’re not bored. I’m about to open.”

Eren followed Levi down the narrow flight of stairs to the basement. The house has three floors: a basement, main floor, and attic. The house was built on a hill so the basement has a front entrance of its own led to by a gravel path around the back of the house. On the opposite side, the main floor has a large driveway that leads to the small cement porch. The attic has no windows in it because with all the snow, they might crack under the pressure. Instead, the roof is at a steep angle to try to direct the snow off the top of the house. There is no chimney, so Levi primarily uses kerosene heaters.

Levi flipped on the lights and unlocked the front door. Eren put his mug down on the front desk and sat behind the counter. Looking up from his keys, Levi noticed Eren had already made himself comfortable and was playing a game on his phone.

“How many times do I have to tell you to not put your feet on my chair?”

“Hmm?”

“How- ugh. Whatever.”

Levi noticed the snow had stopped falling. Now just the dusty aftermath of the storm floated in the air.

“Eren, the storm cleared.”

“Really? ...That’s good.”

            Eren was too absorbed in his game to care. Levi moved over to the desk. He couldn’t say he was angry with Eren for coming over. He actually had hoped he would stay. The morning would be slow because of the snow and he would have no one to talk to. Leaning against the side of the desk, he let himself watch Eren play. The hazy feelings from the night before had not gone away. Maybe having Eren around was bad for him after all. There was something intriguing about him.

            “Hey, Levi? Are mornings always this slow? It must be kind of lonely, huh?”

            “Yeah, I guess.”

            Levi couldn’t take his eyes off Eren. He wanted to be next to him. He wanted to embrace him, kiss him, hold him down, and then – no, what was he thinking? Eren was just a friend, right? Anyway, no matter how he may feel, Eren would never feel the same. It’s impossible.

            “Levi, I’m kind of bored and there’s no one here.”

            “You can leave if you want.”

            “Nah, I don’t really want to. I’d just be alone at home.”

Levi turned away to the window again. The sounds of Eren’s game quietly hung in the air behind him. There really was no one coming. The roads were still pretty bad and frankly, not many people come in the mornings anyway.

“Dammit! I lost again. Ugh, why is this game so hard?”

Eren looked at Levi who was totally indifferent to his suffering, sipping his coffee and facing the window.

            “Hey! Why don’t we go somewhere?”

            “What?”

            “Yeah, it might be fun. You know, it’s a freak snowstorm in the spring, probably the last one of the year. We should enjoy it.”

Walking in the snow was one of the last things he had wanted to do today, but when Eren asked him, it seemed like it could be fun.

“Fine, put your coat on.”

            The air was still pretty wet from the storm and their boots would sink in the ground to about their knees when they walked. Levi was annoyed by it, but Eren didn’t seem to mind much.

            “Lets go to the lake, I’m sure it’s frozen over. It’ll look cool.”

            “Fine.”

            The lake was around the back of Levi’s house. Since the snow was too high to really go anywhere else, Levi thought it was the best option. The legs of their jeans were soaking wet from the snow and it would feel good to walk on the ice if they could. But when they got to the lake, it was barely frozen. Levi was a little disappointed. He wanted to get out of the snow, but there was nothing he could do about it. Eren just started at it for a long time. He was almost staring through it.

            “Hey, Eren, is everything ok?”

            “Uh, yeah! I was just, um, thinking about, you know...”

Levi was a little confused why Eren was stumbling through his words. Is he nervous about something? He didn’t know. Eren started fidgeting and feeing in his pockets. _I wonder if he lost something_ , Levi thought. When he put his hand on Eren’s shoulder to get his attention, Eren flinched.

“Eren, you’re acting weird.”

“Oh, am I? Sorry it’s just, um, I wanted to tell you something kind of important.”

“Go ahead.”

Levi didn’t understand the situation. He didn’t understand why he was getting nervous too. In all of their friendship, Levi had never seen Eren act this way – it was freaking him out. Eren finally removed something form his pockets, but he was fumbling so much it fell out onto the ice.

“Ah, I’ll be right back!”

“Eren, wait!

But he had already started running out after it. Levi watched in horror as Eren lost his footing and fell, causing the ice to crack. _Shit! Shit!_ Levi ran out after Eren. He was trying to stand up. Levi shouted for Eren to stay still, but he kept reaching for the thing on the ice. The ice was getting thinner the farther out he went.

“Eren! What the hell are you doing?! Stay still, dammit!”

But Eren kept crawling out farther. His hand was almost touching it. Levi’s heart was pounding incredibly fast. He knew that if he went out on the ice, the weight from both of them would break it. He paced up and down the shoreline, sweaty hands nervously shaking, and yelled out to Eren again. Eren looked back for a bit but continued to stumble to his feet again. This time, as he was returning with the object, he walked back the same way he came. Distracted, Eren lost his footing a few yards away from the shore. Levi watched in agony as his body fell on the cracked ice and went right through it.

Eren cried out in pain and surprise as his legs scraped the ice on their way under into freezing water. He managed to grab ahold of the side of the ice, but his hands were scraped up and the blood was making it hard to grip. Levi ran over in fear. He didn’t know how to help. He wanted to call for the ambulance, but the roads weren’t plowed. He was alone. Eren finally gave into the current as he lost feeling in his hands and lower body. Levi watched him slowly slip under the water. Stay there for a minute before surfacing and gasping for breath. But since his hands couldn’t grip the ice, he fell under right after.

Levi ran out on the ice in a panic. He didn’t care if he died too; he just needed to save Eren. He felt the already weakened ice giving out under him but he kept going. _Slowly, slowly_ , he thought, _I can’t fall under too._ It was delicate work, and to make it more painful, he kept hearing Eren’s cries of distress as he carefully slid his way over to him. This was a nightmare. When he finally reached Eren, he was quiet. Levi dived under the water to find him. His body was incredibly cold. Looking at his face, Levi felt tears welling up. _He cant be dead_ , he thought _, I can lose him_!

“Eren…Eren wake up!”

He pulled him closer. Shaking his body as he started to raise his voice to a scream.

“Wake _up_ , Eren! Please! This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

Levi could feel his body shaking as he held Eren to his chest. Eren had to be alive. He had to tell him what was so goddamn important! So important he had to run on the ice for it!

“Why were you so nervous? Don’t you know I love you?”

But no one answered. When Levi dragged him to shore and set him down, one of Eren’s eyes started to roll open. His face was expressionless. His eyes were empty. Levi sat there a long time, holding Eren’s cold, wet body to his, and thinking the worst.

He decided to move Eren inside to warm him up. Obviously, Eren just passed out, right? He’d wake up soon and then Levi could really yell at him for being such an idiot. No one had to know what happened on the ice. It would be their secret. Levi knew he had to remove Eren’s clothes to warm him up. Then he would move him to the bed and put him under the blankets. Undressing Eren’s limp body, Levi laughed to himself. He thought it was quite ironic.

“I’ve always dreamed about this, Eren, but I never imagined it would happen like this. I guess life is cruel sometimes.”

Placing him under the covers, Levi left to tend to the shop. It was the worst day his life. He went back a few times to check on Eren, but he hadn’t warmed up a bit. _It’s been 6 hours_ , he thought. He was staring to panic. That night, Levi undressed and slipped in beside Eren, whose lifeless form hadn’t moved since Levi placed him there. Wrapping his arms around Eren, Levi felt how frozen he was. He just hoped that the whole day was a sick dream. He would wake up and Eren would come visit him at the shop. But this time Levi wouldn’t yell at him for putting his feet on his chair. As he thought this, he felt hot tears well up behind his eyes. He smelled Eren’s hair, pulling him in tighter.

“Don’t worry, Eren. You’re safe now.”


	2. Chapter 2

TUESDAY

            Levi didn’t get much sleep. He woke up in a daze trying to remember the night before. He felt so cold. His whole body was heavy. Sitting up, he tried to remember what exactly happened yesterday. _I think I went for a walk with Eren,_ he thought, _but I wonder why I’m so cold…my bed is usually really warm._ After rubbing at his eyes, Levi turned to look around him. Like a jolt of chilling electricity through his body, he saw Eren’s expressionless face staring back at him from the other side of the bed. Levi screamed. He suddenly remembered everything: the morning visit, the walk, the accident, and the dream. Oh God, the dream! He felt sick as he relived it, bringing his shaking hands to his face in anxious nausea.

            Every time he closed his eyes he saw it. He remembered it perfectly. He was walking out to the lake on a beautiful summer morning. Looking out at the lake’s glossy water, he noticed the birds playing with something in the water. He strained his eyes to look at it. They were eating something. Suddenly he felt someone behind him. They placed their hand on his shoulder. It was so soft and warm. It was Eren! He called out in relief. Eren smiled back at him – _Levi!_ But suddenly the smile looked cruel. The weather was getting colder. He saw the ice and snow crawl over everything, consuming the landscape.

He turned back to Eren, but he was gone. It kept getting colder. He saw the birds on the lake gather more. They were pecking into a hole in the ice. He saw them ripping out heaps of waterlogged flesh. He tried to look away. It was so cold now. He tried buttoning his jacket more but it did nothing – he couldn’t get warm. He felt icy hands wrap around his chest. He whipped around to find Eren again, but this time he was so pale. _Levi. Levi why didn’t you save me?_ Its voice was terrible and mocking. _I tried to! But I couldn’t reach you in time. It’s not my fault!_ Levi yelled back. He struggled to break free of its grip. He ran toward the lake in terror. But something was rising from the hole in the ice. Its hands were blue and bloody. As it rose up form the water, he could see the places where it had started to be scavenged by the birds and the flesh was missing, bloody, or torn.

It had the sickest expression on its face. Then he realized it was Eren’s face. He turned to run away, but the other Eren was approaching from behind. He was trapped. While the cold, pale Eren held him down, he watched in panicked horror as the bloody corpse limped toward him. Part of its mouth was torn off and its jaw was exposed. It had a hard time articulating sounds because of this and when it began to talk he felt like he was about to vomit. He tried to make out what it was saying, but it was too distorted. Now it was so close. He could feel the icy water dripping off its body and falling on his. His eyes widened and for a moment and he thought it looked sensual sliding its frozen body over top of him.

            Up close, he noticed one of its eyes was cloudy. The other seemed to shine a vibrant green. Its rotten form began to embrace him, wrapping its frail arms around his body. Levi screamed in horror and fought intensely for his freedom, but the other Eren’s grip was too powerful. He was terrified and disgusted. The corpse began to slide its bloody hands beneath Levi’s jacket. The feeling of its icy fingers on his skin was distressing and sickly arousing.

As the rotten figure continued to undress him, the other Eren mockingly whispered in his ear, _what’s wrong, Levi? Isn’t his what you’ve always dreamed of?_ Levi tried to block it out but he continued in a sadistic laugh, _I thought you loved me, Levi? Don’t you love me? Why don’t you look at me as I embrace you? You did this to me! Now, kiss me!_ Levi squirmed under the immense pressure of his grasp. He didn’t want any of this. It was awful! He tried to turn his head away as the corpse slowly leaned into his face. Its lips were dead and torn and the feeling of its stagnant, wet, and frozen tongue in his mouth made him vomit. He was choking on his own stomach acids when he though he would rather die than endure it any longer.

That was the last thing he could remember. Terrified, he reached his trembling hand out to Eren’s blank face lying beside him. It was incredibly cold to the touch. He didn’t want to believe it. He decided to take a shower to calm down. His house felt so empty and strange, like someone was watching him. He could hear every creak in the floor as he walked over to the bathroom. His feet felt numb against the hardwood flooring. He felt strange undressing, almost over exposed, even though he knew he was alone. With the water on the high heat, he let it flow over his body and slowly warm him up. That was probably the longest shower he ever took.

When he finally turned off the water, the room was covered in a thick steam. Standing on the mat, he felt afraid to wipe away the condensed water on the mirror. Somehow, he was afraid that it would reveal an ugly, twisted face.  He gathered the strength to do it by telling himself that he was an idiot for worrying over this; that Eren was just passed out and he should hurry up and make something to eat. He quickly wiped away the steam and let out a horrible scream – he could have sworn Eren was right there beside him. He lost his footing in the slippery room and fell backwards. Breathing intensely, he stumbled to his feet and looked around the room. No one was there. Then he ran to check the mirror. Only his reflection was staring back at him. _I’m not crazy,_ he thought frantically. He let out a nervous laugh as he realized he would have to think of some solution. He couldn’t just keep Eren in the bed.

When he returned to the room to get dressed, he saw Eren remained unmoved. He started at Eren’s face for a long time.

“He’s really dead, huh?” That was all he could say.

Levi used to enjoy the early morning silence, but now he hated how crushing it felt. Even in his fantasies, he never imagined getting dressed and leaving while Eren was still asleep. _It was never supposed to end up like this,_ was the only thought in his head. Putting on his shirt, he shut the door.

He felt weird going to work. He felt like everyone secretly knew that he had a dead body upstairs. He didn’t get many costumers today so he had to think of ways to keep busy. Sometimes he would be lost in thought and the image of the dream would return to his memory. Then we would jolt up in panic, realize where he was, and breathe. He was too shaken to assist anyone, let alone taxidermy. Realizing he needed a tool from the back room, he put down his work he had barley made progress on and walked behind the desk. The hallway was narrow, like most of the passageways in the basement, and he had forgotten to get the lights fixed so it was dark. He usually took a flashlight with him so he could look for what he needed.

On the way down the hall, he felt like there was something behind him. Normally, he would have brushed the feeling off as paranoia, but he couldn’t seem to shake it off. He felt that at any moment, something would come up from behind and attack him. The air on his back felt heavier with anticipation and his heart rate pounded faster and faster. He started to break a sweat. Even with the flashlight, he felt like he wasn’t able to see something. Something was missing.

Maybe it was because of what he saw in the mirror this morning, but to him, the entire house has eyes staring at him out of the crippling darkness of the hallway. His palms were sweating. His hands were shaking. He was a mess for no reason. Every noise scared him. He kept thinking he would turn around to see the dead, waterlogged Eren staring cruelly back at him with its one clear eye and melting flesh. He felt sick.

He would do anything not to go back upstairs. It was the end of a long day and usually he would be overjoyed to lock up, walk up the narrow basement staircase, make some black coffee and play solitaire as he waited for Eren to “surprise” him at the same closing time every weeknight. But the thought of facing reality again was terrifying. Instead he started at the wall. He felt a little tired, so he lay back in his chair and wished time would just reverse. _Wouldn’t that be nice?_ He heard.

“Yeah, I would give anything to feel his warm hand again.  I wouldn’t even complain it was sweaty,” he said not giving it much thought.

“I would give anything to be with you, Levi.”

“Really? Is that what you were trying to tell me?”

“Yes, I love you. I really do!”

“Eren. I’m so happy! What was it you had-”

“That’s what makes this so hard.”

“What? I’m just so happy I…I’m just so happy you’re alive!”

He opened his eyes and no one was there. Crushed, he turned around in his chair. _Levi_. He screamed. Eren was there! Eren was right there! Then he was gone. He thought maybe he had dozed off in his chair. It was pretty late at night. He decided that if he already fell asleep down here he might as well just stay. Pulling two chairs together, he laid down. _It’s better than moving Eren_ , he thought. He didn’t remember his dream. He didn’t even think he dreamt at all.


	3. Chapter 3

FRIDAY

Business as usual continued down the road from the cabin. Many people wondered about the closed sign on the taxidermy shop. The owner was usually pretty consistent with their hours and holidays. But no one really seemed too bothered by it. _Maybe he got himself a girlfriend,_ his old high school job’s boss thought. _Maybe he’s avoiding someone,_ thought his closest friend besides Eren, if you count him that is. It had been almost a week since the shop was open.

Levi didn’t have many friends, and the ones he did knew fairly well he liked to be left alone, especially at his home up the road. The only person who broke this was Eren. But that was because everyone knew that somehow Eren could get away with almost anything with Levi. People just left him alone.

Up the road, the cabin remained boarded off from the world. Levi hadn’t left it since the accident. The only one with him was Eren. Levi thought the house was too cold. No matter what he did it never felt warm enough. He wanted to turn up the heat, but he knew the smell would get worse. He couldn’t quite remember why though. Walking up to the kitchen from his shop, he thought he heard someone there. He was really hungry; he hadn’t had much of an appetite since the accident. Yawning, he lazily reached for the cereal. He took two cups down from the cabinet, one for him and one for Eren. He usually came Friday mornings, right?

“Do you want sugar?” He asked.

“Yeah, thanks.”

Levi turned around and saw Eren, wearing the same clothes he did on that day, siting cross-legged at his kitchen table and smiling back at him.

“Good morning, Levi!”

“What…no…no you’re dead!”

“That’s right.”

“What the fuck?! How did you-”

Eren just kept smiling.

“How did I what? I always come on Friday.”

“No…no.”

Levi stammered backwards and closed his eyes. Maybe if he waited long enough, Eren would disappear. Just disappear, already. Eren smiled to himself for a long time. He studied Levi. It almost looked like he enjoyed watching him struggle like he was at the end of a spiny hook. Then he slowly got up and walked toward Levi who was shaking quietly under his pride.

“I’m right here, Levi.”

As Eren spoke, Levi tried to look away. He tried to resist. But it made it so hard seeing all of his fantasies standing before him like that. He was the personification of the second chance he would give anything for. He knew Eren was dead. He could confirm it easily by opening the putrid door to his bedroom. He knew that if he let his mind tempt him into this, it would be too late. So why was it so hard? Watching Eren move, it was so easy to just give in to it, to give into his clear eyes, his warm hands, and his broad stance steadily approaching. Eren wrapped his arms around Levi’s back. Levi could feel his heart racing at the embrace.

“I love you, Levi. That’s why I came back. I came home.”

“You’re not Eren.” Levi’s voice was cold.

“Why are you so afraid? I thought you loved me too. That’s what I was trying to tell you, Levi. I wanted to tell you that I want you. I’ve always wanted you. So I attached myself to you. All those other people pushed you away. They were afraid of you. They thought you’re too quiet, too hostile, too dark, without even getting to know you.”

“This has nothing to do with that.”

“Really?” Eren smiled, “I think it does.”

Levi couldn’t stand it anymore. He turned around with every intention to deny the figure behind him and break free of it. But seeing Eren’s face, just like on that day, staring at him in pseudo-innocent surprise, he couldn’t help it. He grabbed Eren by the shoulders and pressed his face firmly into Eren’s. He didn’t care if after this kiss, Eren turned out to be a rotten corpse like in the dream. He would still love him. It was impossible for him not to. He didn’t know if this Eren he was so passionately kissing was a mere figment of his imagination or not. But he didn’t care. All that mattered was that Eren was in his arms, finally.

It was only after the kiss that Levi realized how emotional he really was. He felt wet. He felt hot. He felt angry. He realized the salty tears streaming down his face were a first since childhood. He had never cried this hard over something since his mother dropped him off at his uncle’s house and drove away forever. Levi started at Eren for a long time. His hands and voice were shaking. Eren just gave him a blank and satisfied stare.

“I’m so sorry,” said Levi, “I’m so sorry…ugghhhh God! ”

He threw Eren into the counter and slammed his fist into opposite the wall.

“I know you are.”

“Then why are you hurting me like this?”

“Am I?”

“You’re not real, Goddamnit!”

“Are you so sure?”

“…Enough.”

Levi was now sitting loosely at the kitchen table. He had his head in his hands. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what was real. But he didn’t really want to know; because he understood that making a decision would forever close off his only hope of happiness.

“Do you still love me, Levi?”

“Yes.”

“I need to tell you something.”

“…What?”

Hearing those words again, something clicked in his mind. Levi thought he knew exactly what he needed to do. There was only one thing Eren could need. Yes, that’s it! The way to make sure he can never leave me. It’s even better having him alive. No, this could basically bring him back to life! That’s what Eren must have been trying to say that day on the ice. Levi always knew he was afraid of dying. That one night when it was raining too hard outside and they had both gotten drunk in the house. When they had both fallen asleep, Levi was woken up by Eren’s screams. He was so terrified, like his eyes were looking at something far in the distance. Levi tried to calm him down, but Eren kept shaking and fighting him off. He was crying but he didn’t know it. His mind was far away. Levi held Eren tightly to his chest and stroked his hair until his breathing became steady. When he asked Eren what had happened he was quiet for a long time. Then he said he had a nightmare about the time his mother died. It was horrific, being crushed under a snow-collapsed shed, and in front of her 10-year-old son. After that, Eren became very afraid to die. Levi thought to himself that he would protect Eren from anything that would upset him again. That was also the first time he realized he was in love with him. But this was his chance to make sure nothing could hurt Eren again. To make sure even time couldn’t touch him.

Going through the kitchen to the bedroom, Levi felt more exhilarated than he ever had before. He slowly opened the door to his bedroom. The smell was awful. It seeped out of the room and collected heavily by his feet. It was thick and gaseous. Eren’s face was turning a pale green in places as his body had begun to decompose. His skin looked wet and slippery. But he would be beautiful soon. Moving over from doorway, Levi felt like God about to bestow the gift of life to Adam. He would breathe life into his body once more. He would be as beautiful as the day he was drowned forever, never aging, never dying.

Levi slowly puled back the sticky comforter to reveal Eren’s soft, disgusting body. Levi was strangely aroused by the thought of deconstructing it. Sliding his hands under Eren’s legs and back, he carried him to the bathroom. There was still a way to take it back. Levi turned on the water and waited with Eren as the tub filled up. He stroked Eren’s hair and smiled down at him. One of Eren’s eyes rolled open, a murky green.

“I’ll have to give you new eyes. Nice glass ones,” Levi said, with all the softness of a lover after their wedding night.

Turning off the faucet, Levi undressed and climbed into the bathtub. Standing up, he dragged Eren’s lifeless body in with him. He had filled the tub with salts and soaps given to him in large, obligatory gift baskets from acquaintances for the holidays. Now they were finally useful. The stench was a mixture of steam, rot, and rosy lavender. Washing Eren’s body was starting to turn him on. Somehow, when mixed with the smell, it became the most erotic thing. He was perfect. Even like this. He saw Eren’s body as unpolished marble waiting to be carved. But it was a good thing he wasn’t a sculptor of stone, because he knew how to work with flesh.

Maybe it was the feeling of the lukewarm water against his bare skin, maybe it was because Eren was sitting defenselessly in front of him, or maybe it was because the sour steam was suffocating him, but he couldn’t calm down. He wrapped his arms around Eren’s back from his underarms, pressed him gently to his body and inhaled deeply. Somehow he didn’t smell the rot anymore, he could smell Eren’s natural scent. The scent that clung to his hair after he woke up from a hangover, the scent that hovered over his hunting jacket when he threw it on the desk, and the scent that probably still nestled itself deep in his pillow at home.

The thought of being in Eren’s room made him get even more excited. This was bad. If this continued he didn’t think he could control himself. Although hot blood was pumping heavily through his body, a small portion of it had started to collect below his waist. This disgusted Levi. How could his body be reacting to this? How could his mind be twisting around this sick fantasy? He knew his body was too excited to turn back. He had to release somehow. He thought that if he kissed Eren, the memory of the dream would turn him off completely, but as he slowly pressed his burning lips against Eren’s it did the opposite. He was getting hotter. His mind was racing yet complete blank. Yes. Yes! It felt so good!

Pushing Eren back against the side of the bath, he pulled the plug in the drain. He slid his hands under Eren’s body and pulled him in closer. He wanted to devour him whole. Tracing kisses down Eren’s chest, Levi wanted to rip him open. He could still smell the rot lingering on his wet skin. Somehow it enhanced the feeling of the kill, the feeling of control and power. He split Eren’s knees apart from each other and shoved himself in between, roughly releasing all the frustration, rage, and sexual desire he had built up over the year since they had met. His breathing became ragged and short and he wasn’t even sure how much time had passed. Suddenly, the most euphoric moment he had ever experienced rushed through him – complete ecstasy. Shortly after he felt like all the energy had been drained from his body. He lay there limp on top of Eren’s expressionless corpse in the bathtub for a long time. Everything made sense now. He had to complete his work with a final masterpiece.

Collecting the mangled Eren from the bath, he paced out of the room and toward the stairs. The narrow, musty wooden staircase was now the gateway to his most beautiful project. Laying Eren down on his worktable, he looked back at the stream of light coming in through the top of the stairs. He saw the dim refection of the trail of water sprawling from the bathroom to where he stood. Stretching the rubber glove tightly over his raised hand, he listened to the loud snap echo in the darkness. The only light was the blinding, uncovered light bulb hanging from a thin chain over the table. He would make Eren beautiful. His hands were shaking in anticipation.

“I love you, Eren,” he said slipping into a wide smile, “I’ll be gentle.”


	4. Chapter 4

EIGHT AM

Life with Eren is really great. Nothing could make him happier. Levi never really thought about it, but he would love to travel if Eren wanted to. Eren always wanted to visit Germany. Now that Levi thought about it, he would love to see Germany too. If only Eren would get well. He never seemed to sleep much and was quieter than usual. Every morning, Levi would go to wake him up to find him already awake and lying in bed beside him.

“Good morning, Eren,” he said before kissing Eren’s lips.

Getting out of bed, Levi slowly dressed and them glanced over at Eren who hadn’t moved since he woke up.

“Are you too tired to dress yourself?”

Levi moved over to the bedside, brushing away the hair from Eren’s forehead.

“So difficult, like always.”

Levi removed the covers and gently sat Eren up right. Eren’s limbs were always tricky to move, but he got him dressed in the underwear, tee shirt, jeans, and hoodie he always chose day after day.   
“Let’s go downstairs. We can do whatever you want.”

Levi grabbed Eren by the arms and pulled toward he doorway. Eren leaned forward, but didn’t get up. Why won’t Eren get up today, again?

“I’ll carry you.”

Levi slipped one arm under Eren’s legs and one around his back, carrying him like a bride down the hall. Setting him down on the couch, he turned on the television: nothing good on today. Eren seemed engaged, though. His eyes were fixed on the point in front of him. Levi thought that if Eren was enjoying it, he could bear with it a little longer. He was getting really hungry for breakfast.

“Hey, Eren. Do you want something to eat?”

Eren was quiet. Levi thought that if Eren wasn’t that hungry he could wait. Meals always taste better with someone else. That’s what Eren told him. The sound of the television echoed softly though the house. The lights were dim in the basement. Mixed with the fatigue he was feeling from hunger, Levi felt his eyelids closing over. He knew he just slept, but maybe a nap would be nice.

“Eren, don’t let me fall asleep,” he said as he shifted his weight to Eren’s shoulder.

Levi was so tired. He needed to eat soon. He wanted to sleep. He wanted to feel better. He felt the weight of his fatigue settle in on his eyes and chest. He felt warm and cold at the same time. His mind was heavy, then black. It’s so dark in the room. It smells awful. Oh God, what is that? The light above is so bright. And someone’s sleeping on the counter. It’s Eren, but he’s so disgusting. Levi’s hands seemed to move on their own. They had injected Eren with a large needle circulating a clear, acidic-smelling liquid though out his body and expelling the blood in a large bucket.

When Eren’s flesh was pink again, he took a scalpel and cut the skin around Eren’s face, splitting the lips and jawline, then slowly tearing it away. Thick, black blood was sill leaking into the bucket in gulps. He had to perfectly remove all of the skin. It was delicate work. Eren’s skin came off nicely in large amounts, almost a perfect casing of his body. It was wet and stank of burning chemicals. He put it aside.

Moving back to the table, he dismantled the flesh from the bone. His heart rate was racing. The smell burned into his nostrils. His vision was hazy. The smell was burning into his mind. The only sounds in the room were the drip from the bucket and his ragged breathing. Eren was almost complete, yet there was so much left to do. The feeling of euphoria enveloped Levi’s senses. The room was dark again. The television was murmuring in the distance. Light began to pour in from the sides of his eyelids. Levi’s eyes felt heavy and crusted over. His body felt like it was full of stagnant water.

Sitting up, he realized that more than two hours had passed. It was just a crazy dream. Looking to his left, he saw Eren intently focused on the screen in front of him. He was happy again. Eren was finally together with him and he had to treasure every moment. Somehow, Eren was always too tired to walk, so Levi had to carry him. He carried Eren to the table in the kitchen.

“I’m just going to have a snack”

Levi poured himself the remains of the cereal. There was nothing left in the kitchen now but trash. It was piling up around the edges of the room and down the hall. He couldn’t leave Eren to take it out, though. Eren would be lonely. He couldn’t leave Eren alone.

Eren’s lack of appetite was troubling Levi. Eren usually ate so much. Why wasn’t Eren eating? What wasn’t Eren talking? He was so confused. Eren had chosen to live with him, right? He wanted to be with him! Was he not good enough for Eren anymore? These thoughts circled around in Levi’s mind, swirling and swirling until he felt nauseous. There was almost nothing left in the kitchen to eat, but going out to get more was impossible.

Levi sat down across from Eren to eat. He had a hard time moving the spoon to his face. Was he always this weak? His body felt like it would give out on him.

“Hey, Eren. Do you think you could walk to the bedroom yourself today?”

Eren just stared back at him with the same expression as always. But Levi wasn’t angry. Eren was just testing him; he was just encouraging him to get his strength back. Eren knew Levi could do it. Levi smiled back.

“You’re right. I can still carry you. You should always come first to me.”

Levi moved Eren back to the bedroom. He collapsed a few times on the way, but he always got back up and apologized to Eren. Eren was probably more tired than him anyway. He would be a good husband and carry Eren anywhere. They were married, obviously. That’s why Eren was living together with him, right? This was his dream come true. He couldn’t ask for anything more. It was perfect.

Levi kept telling himself he was happy. He had to. But was there anything to be miserable about? He was finally with Eren. There was nothing to fight for anymore. He was so tired. Even just laying in bed next to Eren was draining. He wanted to fall asleep again, but Eren would be lonely. Levi looked over at the one thing he loved most and smiled. It just started back at him. It was staring through him. A little anxious, Levi reached out across what felt like the entire bed and slowly slipped his hand around Eren’s. It wasn’t as warm as it used too. It didn’t get sweaty after a while like it used too. Eren didn’t get embarrassed like he used to. Lying there, Levi remembered how vibrant Eren always was. He started to cry. Looking into the blank eyes of his lover next to him, he started to wonder if it was really Eren. But it had to be, right? Why else would he be doing this?

Levi could feel his body aching all over. Instead of trying to embrace Eren, he just worked up the energy to hold his hand a little tighter.

“I love you, Eren,”

Levi’s words echoed in the silence as cold tears streamed down his face. It was all he could do. Why wouldn’t Eren say something?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't been updating! This chapter is really short because the feel of the chapter changes with the mental heath of Levi, and as you can tell, currently he is not in to good of shape. I wanted to write this in a way that makes you think "is he really crazy or is Eren real?" so please think about it during the last few chapters.

ONE WEEK LATER

  
Levi is haunted by this dream. The dream is in a reality not of his own. He ‘s so confused. Why is Eren so happy? Eren isn’t talkative; he’s quiet and reserved. He never speaks. He only smiles at Levi lovingly. How come Eren can talk so easily with him? Why are his eyes so colorful, changing from green to gold in the dim lighting? Eren’s eyes are a glassy olive green all the time. He always wears the same clothes. Why does dream Eren laugh so easily? Why is dream Eren good at fixing his chair every time it breaks? Why is dream Eren so happy?  
Levi didn’t believe it could be true. Eren was always so still and silent. Eren never complains about the cold rooms or dark house at night. Eren loves him. Levi wished he could go out of the house. He didn’t want to leave Eren alone, he couldn’t. Eren relied on him too much. With lout Levi’s help, Eren would just sit helpless on the bed. He would be lonely.  
But Levi wanted to eat something so badly. He was so hungry he couldn’t remember a time he felt energized. The pain in his stomach grew duller and duller as the days passed. His body was frailer than it ever was. He could see his bones protrude from his limbs. His face was like a skull. He felt like the face he wore now was almost a different person from the one in the pictures on his walls. He was just so hungry. Carrying Eren was an impossible task now. They just sat on the bed together. Enjoying the silence.  
Levi wanted to eat something. He remembered the last thing he did eat. It was a while ago. He remembers he couldn’t cook it because the electricity won’t turn on for some reason. It was raw meat of some sort. It reeked of chemicals and looked different from the other animals in the freezer. That’s why he ate it last. It stung his whole throat. There was no blood in it, just this pink fluid. It was mangled and hastily cut up in chaotic angles. Why did he even have it in the freezer? He couldn’t remember anymore. He was just so hungry.  
The weird Eren dreams continued every night, or what he thought was night, because he couldn’t tell anymore. Why was he at the lake with Eren? It was a situation that seemed impossible. The snow is probably still holding up the town, right? That snowstorm came really late. Good thing Eren decided to take shelter here and live with him. Or were they married? He couldn’t remember. The more he tried to remember, the hazer his memory got. All that mattered was that Eren was here beside him though. Eren would always be beside him. It was a fact as solid as the seasons change. Summer will change into autumn. Autumn will change into winter. Winter will change into spring. And spring will melt the frost.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it. I'm sorry it took me so long to write the final chapter!

Epilogue:

ONE MONTH LATER

The sun broke through the clouds nicely, a friendly reminder of spring. The temperature was warning up and more people were crowding the streets around the police station. The inside of the station was small and smoke-filled, framing the officers in a dense screen. Since to town was small, there wasn’t a lot of crime and the officers usually just sat around and gave out parking tickets. However, today an unusual call came in.

The caller said they were calling on behalf of the residents who wanted to use the lake located just off the property of Levi Ackerman, but there was a terrible smell coming from the property that was obstructing their enjoyment of the lake. The station never got complaints about another person’s property because the town had an “if you have a problem fix it yourself” mentality and if your neighbor bothered you, you took it up with them.

Regardless, the other officers were notified over the main desk and they decided to send the officer who knew Levi the best (better to negotiate with him) and the new officer who needed training in difficult residents. The drive was awkward, but the silence became more comfortable the farther they drove up the long dirt road to the house. Patches of snow still cluttered the ground on the surrounding forest even though it was well into the start of spring. The young officer looked out of the window and thought how amazing it was that the horrible late snowstorm, the storm that shut down the town for a few days, could be reduced to the fragile layers of ice now coating the ground. _It always melts_ , he thought.

“Well, here it is.”

            The young officer looked at the large cabin style home and office from the dive way.

            “This is it?”

            “Yeah. The sign on the back says his office is closed, so I guess he’s probably at home. It’s usually better to go through the office because he doesn’t like anyone bothering him at home, especially the police, not that anyone would. Well, anyway, we’ll just go in through the front. You ok?”

            “Yeah. I just feel weird. Like something’s upsetting, you know?”

            “Ok. Well Just try not to get sick on me.”

            “Sure.”

            The gravel sounded louder than it should under their boots in the silence. The door as locked. When they knocked, no one answered. The young officer suggested he may be out, but the older officer said that didn’t feel right.

            “I guess we’ll just break in.”

            The locks on the door were old and to break in they had to break down the door, splitting the lock from the frame and leaving a hole in the wood. When they called out, no ne answered. They wondered around the top level for a while, but found nothing but a disgusting bathtub and scattered clothing.

“The house smells terrible! What _is_ that?” The younger officer said.

“I don’t know. It smells like rotten meat. This is really weird, he’s always so clean.”

The narrow wooden stairs seemed like they lead to the source of the smell. Down stairs, the smell coated the air like a thick musk. It was dark in the shop. The older officer split off to check the back. He thought it might be some unrefrigerated animals. At this point they were thinking that Levi might have either fled to escape some kind of threat or been killed. The older officer thought it was a mistake to have brought the new officer with him this time.

The younger officer was feeling worse. He felt like his stomach would turn inside out and he was sweating heavily. Then, in a small room off to the side of the shop, he though he saw something. As he got closer, he saw the figure of a person. _It could be him_ , he thought.

“Hey! Hey, Mr. Ackerman!” no response “Mr. Ackerman, this is the police. Umm, we got a complaint about the smell coming from your house.”

The figure wasn’t turning around. The young officer was getting nervous. He got closer to the figure. He had no idea what Levi looked like. When he was behind him, he laid a hand on his shoulder. It was hard. _What? This is…_

“Umm. Mr.…”

When he walked around the figure, its face was frozen in a half smile. Its eyes were lifeless. Its while body looked like a doll. He touched its face. It was also hard and cold. Horrified, he screamed and felt backwards on the carpet. But the thing he saw after that was worse than anything he had seen in his entire life. It was a sticky black mass of putrid flesh and bone splayed over the doll’s body. The room was covered in black flies and they swarmed around the mass. The scream must have stirred their nest. The doll just sat there, retaining its pose as they landed on its mouth and eyes. It kept the same half smile expression.

The young officer ran out of the room and screamed for his partner. The older officer ran back with him and was equally as horrified.

“Look! Look what happened to Levi!” the younger officer yelled in panic.

The older officer started at it for a long time.

“That’s not Levi.”

The two bodies were later identified: one as Eren Jaeger by the perfectly preserved features from a picture on the driver’s license in its wallet. The other had to be identified by its dental records. It was the remains of Levi Ackerman.


End file.
